Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.
  • “Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.
  • I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.
  • Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.
  • Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.
  • I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.