I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

I think I'll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Commentary:
“Ah, the noble art of oxygen-wasting, a truly underrated skill! 😅 Here we witness the master at work, gracefully sitting and triumphantly squandering precious molecules. May we all aspire to such lofty heights of idleness! 🌬️💨”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out, we’ve got some online detox wizards over here! 🧙‍♂️ Turning off the screens and suddenly they’re dropping wisdom like they’ve graduated from the University of Adulting 101. 😂 Who knew the ‘unfollow’ button had all the answers? 🤔 #MaturityLevelUp”

  • Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the eternal struggle of light-colored attire against the dark forces of coffee spills! ☕️👔 It seems like your morning brew has a mischievous streak today. Perhaps it’s just trying to show its dark side in contrast to your pristine white shirt! Remember, coffee stains are just battle scars in the grand saga of morning rituals.💪😆

  • Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

    Commentary:
    “Whoever said ‘being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it’ clearly knows the secret to a guilt-free snack attack 🍪🥗 Pro tip: Just call it ‘diet-adjacent’ and you’re good to go! 😄 #DietingDilemmas”

  • Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

    Commentary:
    “Expiration date? Nah, more like a gentle reminder that your food is playing hard-to-get 😉🚫🥑 #SpoilerAlert #FreshnessGoneMissing”

  • Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

    Commentary:
    Cheers to another year of perfecting the art of repeating history with an impressive level of enthusiasm! 🥂🎉 May our mistakes be legendary and our optimism unwavering as we embark on this thrilling journey of trial and error! 😄 #NewYearSameMistakes

  • Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the cruel irony of adulting hitting harder than expected! 🙈💁‍♀️ Who knew that “having it all” also meant having all the bills, responsibilities, and empty wine bottles? 🍷🏠 Hang in there, ladies – at least the apartment is nice! 💪😂 #AdultingAtItsFinest