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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Reported on WeChat:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Trending via X:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Live now on Messenger:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Seen just now on Threads:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Spotted on Reddit:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!
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Commentary:
Ah, those carefree days of yore when we couldn't wait to be adults, only to realize that bills and responsibility were major buzzkills 🤦‍♂️🙈 Who needs naptime and recess when you can have taxes and deadlines, right? #AdultingFail

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Live now on Discord:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Breaking via Reddit:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Trending via Slack:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Seen just now on Slack:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Trending via WeChat:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

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