Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?