I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

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That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

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Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

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Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

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The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

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My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

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No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.