Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, to have the unwavering confidence of a husband who believes every task is a mere 5-minute endeavor! 🤣⏱️ Dream big, aim high, and maybe one day you too can conquer the world in 5-minute intervals! 💪😂"

confidence, everything, humor, husband, i, just, minutes, perspective, procrastination, relationship, time, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

18 shares on X this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

72 shares on Reddit this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

25 shares on X this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

January is the Monday of the year.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Shared recently on TikTok:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Just landed via Discord:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Just landed via TikTok:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨