Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, to have the unwavering confidence of a husband who believes every task is a mere 5-minute endeavor! 🤣⏱️ Dream big, aim high, and maybe one day you too can conquer the world in 5-minute intervals! 💪😂"

confidence, everything, humor, husband, i, just, minutes, perspective, procrastination, relationship, time, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Half princess, half menace.

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2 months ago

contrast, duality, half, humor, menace, personality, playful, princess
At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

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3 months ago

confidence, heir, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, think, throne
I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

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2 months ago

affirmation, agreement, casual, informal, slang, stuff, thinking
Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

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2 months ago

dating, humor, irony, love, mate, relationship, search, seeking, soul
The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

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2 months ago

children, fashion, humor, irony, jeans, parenting, relaxed, tag
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

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2 months ago

daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

52 shares on X this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

99 shares on Twitch this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Making waves on Reddit:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Making waves on Threads:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Spotted on Messenger:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Spotted on Instagram:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Going bananas on Slack:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Half princess, half menace.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨