Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, to have the unwavering confidence of a husband who believes every task is a mere 5-minute endeavor! 🤣⏱️ Dream big, aim high, and maybe one day you too can conquer the world in 5-minute intervals! 💪😂"

confidence, everything, humor, husband, i, just, minutes, perspective, procrastination, relationship, time, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

67 shares on Discord this month:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Breaking via Facebook:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Making waves on X:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨