If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.