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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Trending via Reddit:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Live now on YouTube:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Making waves on Twitch:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just shared via Slack:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Spotted on TikTok:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Trending via Slack:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🦕🕰️ "If history repeats itself, I'm getting a pet dinosaur… Because who needs a dog when you can have a T-Rex as a best friend? Just make sure it doesn't eat the neighbors! 🦖😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Breaking via WeChat:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Trending via YouTube:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Just landed via X:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Breaking via Threads:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Just shared via Discord:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

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