Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.
  • Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.
  • When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.
  • They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.
  • I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.
  • Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.