Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?
  • I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.
  • My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.
  • Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.
  • Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.
  • The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.