Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.
  • Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.
  • No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.
  • Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.
  • Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.
  • Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.