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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

17 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Reported on TikTok:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Making waves on Discord:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Breaking via Threads:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Spotted on X:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Spotted on Threads:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Jan 28, 2025

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

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Commentary:
Ah, the Thanksgiving table – where family dynamics take center stage! 🦃👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's like a live performance of The Real Housewives of Dysfunction Junction! 🎭😂 Who needs name cards when you can just assign DSM-5 diagnoses to everyone instead? 📋🤪 #ThanksgivingTales

am, disorders, family, humor, i, observation, observing, personality, table, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

17 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Spotted on Facebook:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Live now on Reddit:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Just landed via WeChat:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Just shared via Telegram:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

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