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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

37 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Spotted on Instagram:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Seen just now on Threads:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Trending via Discord:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

5 months ago

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of rebranding oneself from suspect to person of interest! It's all about keeping up appearances, darling 💁‍♂️🕵️‍♂️. Who knew a change in title could make such a difference in the eyes of the law? Detective fashion advice: always look good, even when suspected of looking bad! 🔍👀 #GlamCriminal"

being, humor, i, interest, law, person, person of interest, police, suspect, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.
6 months ago
Share → : Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?
6 months ago
Share → : I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.
6 months ago
Share → : Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.
6 months ago
Share → : I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.
6 months ago
Share → : Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.
2 months ago
Share → : If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.
3 weeks ago
Share → : Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

37 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Trending via Facebook:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Trending via X:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Spotted on X:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Just landed via Facebook:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

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