Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!
  • Alexa, turn off the planet.
  • All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.
  • Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.
  • At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.
  • If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.