Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.
  • This meeting could have been an oil painting.
  • “Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.
  • Texting random numbers “It’s done.”
  • I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.
  • A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.