Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.
  • If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.
  • This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.
  • Everyone is getting idioter.
  • One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.
  • My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.