FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.