New funny morning quotes

• I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

• Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

• Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

• Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

• I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

• Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

• Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

• My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

• Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

• I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Top funny morning quotes

• Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

• May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

• My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

• I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

• The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

• *Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

• My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

• Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

• Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

• Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Popular funny morning quotes

• My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

• In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

• As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

• My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

• I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

• Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

• The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

• Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

• I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

• Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

More funny morning quotes

• Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

• Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

• The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

• Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

• You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

• My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

• My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

• Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

• I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

• Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Witty morning quotes

• An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

• I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

• Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

• Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

• Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

• Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

• I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

• When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

• “I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

• How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Funny morning quotes remind us that starting the day is rarely as graceful as we imagine 😂. From messy hair moments 🧑‍🦱 to forgetting what day it is 🤷‍♂️, mornings have a special way of keeping us humble and amused 🤣. These quotes are perfect for sharing with anyone who needs a laugh with their first cup of coffee ☕. So embrace the grogginess, laugh at the struggle, and remember: mornings may be tough, but at least they give us something to joke about every single day 😆!