I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

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Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?