Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

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I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

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Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

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I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

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If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

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The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

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There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

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The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

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Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

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When did making sense stop making sense?

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If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.