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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m not flirting with you. Iโ€™m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Spotted on Twitch:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Reported on X:

When I say Iโ€™m tired, the โ€œof peopleโ€ is silent.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Not to brag but I donโ€™t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Going viral on Threads:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Seen just now on Messenger:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Just landed via YouTube:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.
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"Guess I'm on the hunt for a new doctor now! ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Boyfriends come and goโ€ฆ reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Of course thereโ€™s birth control for men. Itโ€™s called the way they act.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them theyโ€™re losers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Threads:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Just landed via X:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Going viral on Twitch:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Going viral on Discord:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Making waves on WeChat:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when theyโ€™re pulling you over for something minor.

Reported on WhatsApp:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Making waves on TikTok:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Spotted on WeChat:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

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