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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,553

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,553

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Going viral on Threads:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Making waves on Slack:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Making waves on Facebook:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Spotted on Discord:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your migraine is so intense, you can hear your neighbor's cat plotting world domination. 😺💥🦸‍♀️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,553

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,553

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,020

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Trending via Instagram:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Breaking via Instagram:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Making waves on Threads:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Going bananas on TikTok:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Making waves on WeChat:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Going viral on Threads:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

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