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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

12 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Making waves on X:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Going viral on Twitch:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Making waves on Twitch:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Just shared via YouTube:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Jan 20, 2025

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of unrequited love in the digital age – a modern-day tragedy in 5 steps! 🙈💔 Maybe the 999 other girls were just practice rounds in the game of love. Who knew narrowing down your options could be so challenging? Keep your chin up, Romeo! 🌟"

back, dating, girl, heartbreak, humor, i, know, love, me, numbers, rejection, relationship, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

12 minutes ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Just landed via Messenger:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Seen just now on Discord:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Shared recently on Threads:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Making waves on Messenger:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Seen just now on Slack:

They should invent someone who holds me.

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