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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Just shared via Discord:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Trending via Slack:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Just landed via Messenger:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Just landed via Twitch:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Going viral on Slack:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Making waves on Twitch:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Spotted on Discord:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

5 days ago

Witty text about love and patience, humorous and uplifting message.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal search for the elusive 'right person' – a quest as mysterious and unpredictable as finding matching socks in the laundry. Keep looking, dear friend, for in the vast sea of potentials, there may just be a diamond in the rough…or at least someone who can tolerate your questionable taste in movies."

advice, date, dating, dating advice, expectation, humor, irony, just, love, person, relationship, right

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Telegram this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

56 shares on X this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

64 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Just shared via Threads:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Just shared via YouTube:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Just shared via Snapchat:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Trending via Telegram:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Trending via WeChat:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

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