Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,938

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Freshly posted on X:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Going viral on X:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Seen just now on X:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Live now on WeChat:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

1 month ago

0

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal search for the elusive 'right person' – a quest as mysterious and unpredictable as finding matching socks in the laundry. Keep looking, dear friend, for in the vast sea of potentials, there may just be a diamond in the rough…or at least someone who can tolerate your questionable taste in movies."

advice, date, dating, dating advice, expectation, humor, irony, just, love, person, relationship, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

0

2 months ago

America, culture, france, humor, marijuana, oui, wordplay
Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

0

5 months ago

chimney, cooking, deep, exist, free, freedom, hideaway, house, imagination, imagine, inside, knows, living, mushroom, mushroom house, nature, peaceful, pot, solitude, soup, tiny, tiny house, woods
I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

0

1 month ago

food, humor, i, megabite, megabyte, never, regret, taste, technology, wasted
Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

0

2 months ago

battery, dependency, devices, humor, leave, loneliness, me, own, self-reliance, technology
My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, favorite, favorite part, going, home, house, humor, irony, leaving, looking
Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

0

2 months ago

care, care less, humor, i, intensive, intensive purpose, irony, irregardless, language, less, purpose, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

66 shares on Discord this month:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It was me, I let the dogs out.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Trending via Slack:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

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