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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks Iโ€™m dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but Iโ€™m 100% sure itโ€™s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has bookmarked:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

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Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to hold back those pearly whites! Flash that smile while you've still got all your chompers intact! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฆท #SmileBright"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Not to brag, but Iโ€™ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Iโ€™m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth thatโ€™s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I shouldnโ€™t have to go to work if itโ€™s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if youโ€™re reading this, weโ€™re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you donโ€™t care enough about it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!