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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

17 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Seen just now on X:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Trending via Slack:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Just shared via X:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Trending via TikTok:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Spotted on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Breaking via Discord:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Jan 20, 2025

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical realm of Target—where moms become stealthy ninjas, blending into the aisles like undercover agents dodging tiny accomplices 👩‍👧‍👦. Remember, not all heroes wear capes; some rock yoga pants and sip on Starbucks while evading tiny spies in the toy section! 🦸‍♀️🛒 #MomLife"

children, hiding, humor, just, lost, mom, parenting, shopping, Target, wander

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

17 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Reported on Instagram:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Going viral on YouTube:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Trending via WeChat:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Going viral on Messenger:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

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