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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,551

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,551

Nov 27, 2025

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Trending via Instagram:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Just shared via WeChat:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Going bananas on Facebook:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

1 month ago

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic office paradox: Work overtime and get a collective shrug 🤷‍♂️, but show up a tad late and suddenly it's all chaos and drama 🤯! Because clearly, punctuality is the true measure of professional success 🕒⏳. Who knew the secret to world domination lay in the hands of a clock ⏰? Just don't let your boss catch you eyeing that clock too eagerly 🧐👀

chaos, everyone, extra, extra hour, hour, humor, late, minds, minutes, office, productivity, rules, stay, time, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,551

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,551

Nov 27, 2025

3,588

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Just landed via YouTube:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Trending via Pinterest:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Making waves on TikTok:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

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