I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

I'm as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don't need any change.

Commentary:
“Just like a crisp $1 bill, this person is single and confident – no change needed! 💵😄 Who needs a significant other when you’ve got independence and financial stability, am I right? 💁‍♂️ #SingleAndThriving”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a gardener when you’ve got Mother Nature on speed dial? 🌧️🪴 Just call her up and ask for the deluxe plant spa treatment! 💦🪴 #RainyDayGreenery”

  • How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs organs anyway? 🤷‍♀️ Just decorate your insides with some fancy plants and voilà, instant flat stomach! 🌿 Who knew being an empty vessel could be so trendy? 😂 #OrganFreeDiet”

  • Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

    Commentary:
    “Blocking them on social media is so last season. I have to take it up a notch and cancel their favorite TV show. Revenge never looked so binge-worthy! 😏📺 #PettyGoals”

  • Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle between pizza and abs 😂🍕💪 Who needs a six-pack when you can have a pizza pack instead? 🍕🙌 #PizzaIsLife”

  • This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s on a mission to outsource their screaming duties to inanimate objects 😂🧸 Who needs therapy when you have a pillow with a built-in scream feature?! 🤪🗣️ #PillowTalk #ScreamQueen

  • Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the timeless struggle of doing nothing! It’s a never-ending quest with no clear finish line in sight. Just when you think you’ve mastered the art of doing nothing, you realize that there’s always more nothing to be done. It’s a true test of patience and perseverance, with the ultimate reward being… well, nothing!”