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Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

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I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

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You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

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Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

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I used to have a great future in my past.