Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Going bananas on WeChat:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Trending via Snapchat:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Spotted on WeChat:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Making waves on TikTok:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Witty text about setting boundaries, humorously dismissing annoying people.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, we are currently at full capacity for annoyance 🙅‍♀️. Please try again in the next lifetime, thank you for your non-interest! 😂 #NoRoomForAnnoyance"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

56 shares on Discord this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Spotted on TikTok:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Going bananas on YouTube:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Spotted on TikTok:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Trending via X:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Going bananas on Threads:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Trending via Pinterest:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

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