Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous mud season – nature's way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here's to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Commentary:
"Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness clearly hasn’t found the right bank account yet! 💰😄 Deposit those happy vibes straight into my savings, please! 💸😆"
6 months ago
Share →: “Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a full-on beauty hibernation? 💤🚮 #SleepingBeautyGoneWrong"
6 months ago
Share →: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Commentary:
"Feeling invisible? Just default on a payment or two and watch the VIP treatment arrive faster than you can say 'overdraft fee' 😂💸 #MoneyTalks #PayToPlay"
6 months ago
Share →: Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Commentary:
"Who needs the sun to dictate our schedule when we have blackout curtains? 😎⏰ No sunlight, no problem! The power of sleep and darkness compels us! 😂🌚 #SleepGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ "I don't get mad, I get impressed with life's consistency in testing my patience. It's like a daily pop quiz I never asked for, but hey, let's roll with it. Bring it on, universe! 🙄"
6 months ago
Share →: Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Commentary:
"Who needs group chat drama when you can have a loyal dog who cuddles you instead? 🐶💬 No sudden notifications, just unconditional love! 🐾 #DogIsMyBestFriend"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Commentary:
"Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Commentary:
"Who needs a beach body when you can rock a snowman bod all year round?! ⛄️👙 Winter is your season to shine… literally! ❄️ #SnowmanGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Commentary:
"According to scientific research, the human body is 60% water… 🌊💧 Or at least it was until my husband and son came into the picture! After careful monitoring, I propose a new finding: they are at least 50% hot air and wind! 💨🤣 #FamilyScience #Windbags"