Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'love at first sight' clearly never tried 'marriage at first date'! 👰🏻‍♀️💕 Just make sure your date is ready to say 'I do' to your fashion statement!"

activity, comedy, date, dress, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, thing, wear, wedding, wedding dress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

0

2 months ago

faster, humor, instinct, mouth, moves, sarcasm, self-deprecating, survival, survival instinct
Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

0

2 months ago

accent, apology, babe, being, British, British accent, cancel, dating, fake, geographic, geographic inconsistency, going, humor, inconsistency, keeps, medieval, relationship, roleplay, sarcasm, sex, sorry
I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

0

2 months ago

distraction, fashion, hear, hearing, hoodie, humor, i, saying, strings, uneven, word
I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

0

2 months ago

baby, childhood, downhill, humor, i, self-deprecation, ugly, ugly baby
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

0

2 months ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, banana, confusion, humor, i, idea, nutrition, sun, sure, vitamin

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

74 shares on Discord this month:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

54 shares on X this month:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Making waves on YouTube:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Going viral on Discord:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Breaking via YouTube:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Going viral on Discord:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨