Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?
  • A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.
  • When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”
  • I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.
  • One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
  • Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.