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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Spotted on Slack:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Making waves on X:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Live now on Pinterest:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Spotted on Telegram:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Playful text about a hacker joke, highlighting humorous cybersecurity banter.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, love the confidence in the face of potential cyber disaster! 😂🖊️ Let's hope that hacker has a sense of humor too! 🤞#StayPositive #BringItOn

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Telegram this month:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Making waves on TikTok:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Making waves on WeChat:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just landed via Instagram:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

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