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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Shared recently on Facebook:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Making waves on Facebook:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Trending via Discord:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing ruins a good lounging session like hearing bad news while swaying in a hammock 🌴😫 It's like, can't we save the negativity for when I'm in a more suitable position, like standing up or at least not half-asleep? 😂 #HammockHorror"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

30 shares on Discord this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

41 shares on Threads this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Fries, not lies.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Spotted on Telegram:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Just shared via X:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Trending via TikTok:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Spotted on Instagram:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Live now on Instagram:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Live now on Threads:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

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