Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Trending via Telegram:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Just shared via Threads:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Just landed via Facebook:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Live now on Telegram:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

0
According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚨🍳 When the smoke alarm acts as your personal chef and declares dinner is served! "According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready" – because who needs timers when you have a culinary connoisseur like that, right? Just make sure it's not too *smokin'* hot! 🔥😂

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

59 shares on X this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Going viral on Telegram:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Spotted on Reddit:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Trending via Instagram:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Making waves on Facebook:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Live now on Threads:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴