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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Just shared via Twitch:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Going viral on Twitch:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Going bananas on Messenger:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

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Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.
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Commentary:
"Seriously, with all these people on Earth, someone's gotta be hiding their ability to turn water into wine by now! 🍷💫 Let's unleash those superpowers already – I'm ready for a real-life Avengers team to assemble! 💥🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

20 shares on X this month:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Not my room, not my elephant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Just landed via TikTok:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Breaking via Threads:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Going viral on Threads:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Just landed via Slack:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Making waves on TikTok:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

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