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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,850

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Trending via Snapchat:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via WeChat:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Going viral on X:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Just shared via TikTok:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Trending via WeChat:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

2 months ago

0

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, kindness is key because you never know when you might get that coveted hot tub invite! 🛁😄 So keep spreading those good vibes and who knows, you might just end up soaking in luxury! #KindnessPaysOff #HotTubGoals"

activity, always, friendship, fun, fun activity, gathering, hot, hot tub, kind, kindness, know, never, own, social, social gathering, surprise, tub

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

0

2 months ago

commentary, honesty, humor, i, mean, reason, relationships, social, social commentary, support, women
I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

0

2 months ago

activity, Facebook, free, free time, humor, imagine, lie, naked, people, relationship, time, top
Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, blocking, enough, humor, i, lice, petty, relationships, revenge, someone, spite, want
You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, dentist, drink, eat, food, health, humor, name, should, teeth, toothpaste, water
Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

0

2 months ago

breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding
Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

0

4 months ago

battery, boyfriend, dating, going, going out, humor, independence, phone, relationship, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Discord this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,079

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Dear music, thanks!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Trending via LinkedIn:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Spotted on Telegram:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Making waves on Facebook:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Live now on Slack:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

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