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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Broadcasted on X:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Trending via WeChat:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Going viral on Instagram:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Live now on Slack:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about kindness and hot tubs with a playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, kindness is key because you never know when you might get that coveted hot tub invite! 🛁😄 So keep spreading those good vibes and who knows, you might just end up soaking in luxury! #KindnessPaysOff #HotTubGoals"

activity, always, friendship, fun, fun activity, gathering, hot, hot tub, kind, kindness, know, never, own, social, social gathering, surprise, tub

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

52 shares on X this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

90 shares on Discord this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

24 shares on X this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Trending via TikTok:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Seen just now on Discord:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Making waves on X:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Breaking via WeChat:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Love is in the air fryer.

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