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🎉📋 Prepare yourselves for the most thrilling event of the weekend – an agenda reveal party! 🎉 Get ready to be amazed as I unveil my ambitious plans for the next few days – Netflix marathon, laundry mountain expedition, and the legendary battle against the ever-growing pile of dishes! 🍿🧺🍽️ Who needs fireworks when you have this level of excitement on the agenda? 😉 #AgendaRevealParty #WeekendGoals

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

1 month ago

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Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

1 month ago

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Salary week, but salary weak.

4 months ago

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Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

1 month ago

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We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 month ago

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Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

1 month ago

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The older I get, no.

Breaking via Instagram:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Live now on Threads:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

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Activity Log ✨

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Salary week, but salary weak.

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

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An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Salary week, but salary weak.

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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