Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Jan 12, 2026

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Making waves on Discord:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Just landed via Instagram:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Seen just now on X:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Live now on Slack:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Just shared via Threads:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

3 months ago

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎉📋 Prepare yourselves for the most thrilling event of the weekend – an agenda reveal party! 🎉 Get ready to be amazed as I unveil my ambitious plans for the next few days – Netflix marathon, laundry mountain expedition, and the legendary battle against the ever-growing pile of dishes! 🍿🧺🍽️ Who needs fireworks when you have this level of excitement on the agenda? 😉 #AgendaRevealParty #WeekendGoals

accomplish, activity, agenda, everyone, fun, fun activity, hope, i, party, reveal, surprise, things, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

4 months ago

behavior, curiosity, every, funny behavior, heart, interaction, media, rewatch, social, social media, somebody, story, time
Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

3 months ago

bike, distraction, humor, i, music, next, riding, song, street
Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

3 months ago

48, boredom, depressing, depression, evening, ever, feeling, mood, most, Sunday, time, weekend, why
A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

2 months ago

curryer, delivery, driver, food, food delivery, humor, indian, Indian food, pun
My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

2 months ago

3, 3 AM, am, daughter, experience, humor, i, know, let, me, parent, parenting, sleep, wake, wake up, woke
I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

2 months ago

80s, cube, hammer, humor, i, joke, money, nostalgia, Rubik’s, selling, smart, smarter, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Just shared via X:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Going viral on X:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Spotted on YouTube:

Talents: eating!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴