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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,000

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Seen just now on YouTube:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Just shared via TikTok:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Trending via Pinterest:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"April fools or breaking bad? Either way, be prepared for a sugar rush like never before… and maybe a visit from the DEA!"

April, cocaine, house, humor, joke, mischief, prank, sugar, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

1 month ago
baby, gifts, humor, irony, men, newborn, presents, three, Three Wise Men, wise, worst
I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

1 month ago
coming, conclusion, conclusions, fetish, humor, i, just, logic, pun, stop, wordplay
Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

4 months ago
food, humor, nutrition, protein, question, science, things, think, wants
The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

1 month ago
film, film title, Footloose, humor, joke, movie, pun, saw, should, title, wordplay
My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

2 months ago
body, brain, conflict, exciting, fool, humor, inner, inner conflict, listen, motivation, procrastination, something, today
Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

1 month ago
certainty, death, face, grocery, grocery store, humor, magazine, Princess Diana, store, things

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Just landed via Slack:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Spotted on Facebook:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

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April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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