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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

4 hours ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Just landed via Slack:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Just shared via Telegram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Trending via Reddit:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Jan 20, 2025

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question: 'Are you busy tomorrow?' 🤔 Well, my availability hinges on the nature of your request. Will it be tackling Mount Laundry, defeating the dishes, or embarking on a noble quest to find the remote control? 🧹🍽️🗡️ Let me know, and I'll consider rearranging my hectic schedule of Netflix marathons and cat naps accordingly! 😄"

busy, call, depends, me, need, plans, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

4 hours ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Shared recently on Discord:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Breaking via Twitch:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Live now on Facebook:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Just shared via Facebook:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

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