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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Just shared via TikTok:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Seen just now on Threads:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Freshly posted on Discord:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Seen just now on Threads:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

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“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question: 'Are you busy tomorrow?' 🤔 Well, my availability hinges on the nature of your request. Will it be tackling Mount Laundry, defeating the dishes, or embarking on a noble quest to find the remote control? 🧹🍽️🗡️ Let me know, and I'll consider rearranging my hectic schedule of Netflix marathons and cat naps accordingly! 😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

98 shares on X this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

32 shares on X this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

55 shares on X this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Trending via Slack:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Making waves on Threads:

I love it when God gives me money.

Trending via X:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

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