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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

31 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Just shared via YouTube:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Breaking via Instagram:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Reported on Telegram:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Trending via Twitch:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Spotted on Discord:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

5 months ago

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Are you ok?' question – the ultimate setup for a comedic response. 'Of course not. Next question!' – a perfect blend of honesty and sass. It's like a verbal eye-roll followed by a mic drop. Bravo to whoever came up with that gem!"

feeling, honesty, humor, ok, question, response, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

31 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Spotted on Slack:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Live now on TikTok:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

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