Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Shared recently on Slack:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Going viral on Reddit:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Spotted on Threads:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Just landed via YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Live now on Instagram:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Going bananas on Threads:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Are you ok?' question – the ultimate setup for a comedic response. 'Of course not. Next question!' – a perfect blend of honesty and sass. It's like a verbal eye-roll followed by a mic drop. Bravo to whoever came up with that gem!"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Threads this month:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

93 shares on Slack this month:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My life coach traded me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Breaking via Messenger:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Just shared via Discord:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Spotted on Reddit:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Making waves on Pinterest:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

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