As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

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Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

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Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

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If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

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Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

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I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

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As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

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All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

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Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

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Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

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I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.