At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

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A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

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Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

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Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

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Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

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I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

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All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

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People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

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I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

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My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

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I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.