Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Trending via Reddit:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Trending via Instagram:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Breaking via Discord:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like being attractive has its downside too! 🙄 Just remember, you're not obligated to grant their wish 😉 #TrueBeautyProblems"

alone, attention, everyone, humor, i, leave, looks, me, only, self-deprecation, thing, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

0

2 months ago

able, annoying, annoying coworker, booping, coworker, hours, humor, life, mute, nose, real, real life, should, silence, someone, workplace
That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

0

2 months ago

after, again, always, certain, experience, Funny, humor, never, reflection, self-awareness, self-talk, talk, yourself
People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

0

2 months ago

double, double life, even, here, holding, humor, life, life management, living, management, people, relatability, single, single life, struggle, together
Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

0

2 months ago

activity, actually, clothes, cute, fashion, fun, fun activity, girls, humor, just, round, saying, shop, shopping, touching, walk
I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

0

2 months ago

common, eat, food, forget, humor, i, nothing, people
Not my room, not my elephant.

0

3 months ago

elephant, humor, indifference, responsibility, room

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

98 shares on X this month:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

14 shares on Slack this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Spotted on Slack:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Making waves on Pinterest:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Just landed via Instagram:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Going viral on X:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Live now on Facebook:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Not my room, not my elephant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨