Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Making waves on Discord:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Just shared via Slack:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Spotted on WeChat:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Trending via Threads:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Shared recently on Discord:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

0
Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Before you call me an idiot, just remember, it takes one to know one! 🤓💡 #SelfAwareness"

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Discord this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

35 shares on Threads this month:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Trending via Threads:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Shared recently on Slack:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Spotted on Slack:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Making waves on Reddit:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴