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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has downloaded:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has shared:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has downloaded:

People who ask β€œCan I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Going viral on TikTok:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Spotted on Slack:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Going viral on Telegram:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Humorous quote about marriage highlighting playful misunderstandings and shouting across rooms.
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Commentary:
"Marriage: where intimate conversations are replaced by a constant game of 'What?'. πŸ—£οΈπŸšͺπŸ˜‚"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Apparently, β€œspite” is not an appropriate answer to β€œWhat motivates you?”

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has shared:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has shared:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Just shared via YouTube:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Just shared via Telegram:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Going viral on Threads:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Shared recently on Discord:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

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