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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has shared:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question β€˜how much could juice cost?’

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has shared:

Airports are so funny. Like, β€œOh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has shared:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has shared:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Threads:

I did not β€œtry to rob a bank,” I just β€œaspired” to obtain more money.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Spotted on Discord:

β€œYou’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Shared recently on X:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me β€œBatteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

β€œMale loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Just shared via Messenger:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.
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Commentary:
"Marriage: where intimate conversations are replaced by a constant game of 'What?'. πŸ—£οΈπŸšͺπŸ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

54 shares on Slack this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In hell, you wait for a β€˜verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Someone asked, β€œCan I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has shared:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has downloaded:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on WhatsApp:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Just landed via Telegram:

Π†f Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Going bananas on Telegram:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Going viral on X:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending via Pinterest:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Breaking via YouTube:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Just shared via Threads:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

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