Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic biblical loophole – taking 'til death do us part' to a whole new level! 😂 Who knew the key to avoiding premarital sex was just never planning on getting married in the first place? 😜 #LifeHacks"

biblical, humor, intention, loophole, marriage, married, never, premarital, relationship, sex

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

0

5 months ago

hoping, humor, i, interaction, media, poke, social, social media, something, stick, tweet
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

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2 months ago

capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

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2 months ago

blue, coat, conversation, cremated, cremation, day, family, having, humor, i, joke, mother-in-law, said, tea, want, wit
Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

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2 months ago

app, communication, humor, message, technology, text, text message, voice, voice message
My favorite thing to do is nothing.

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2 months ago

favorite, favorite thing, humor, leisure, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, thing
Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

0

3 months ago

15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Freshly posted on X:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Trending via Reddit:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Just landed via Facebook:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Spotted on Twitch:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Just shared via Twitch:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨