Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.
  • Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.
  • Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.
  • Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.
  • I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.
  • “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.