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Commentary:
"Back in the day, Black Friday was a full contact sport. If you didn't witness a brawl over a Wii, did you even Black Friday? 😂💥🎮 #ThrowbackThursday"

black, Black Friday, chaos, clocked, consumerism, Friday, heart, humor, i, sales, shopping, someone, used, Wii

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

1 month ago
animal, blub, brain, emotion, feeling, feelings, heart, humor, i, jellyfish, just, pain, simplicity, wish
Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

1 month ago
diary, even, going, humor, i, mad, media, post, privacy, reading, social, social media, stuff, things, Twitter
When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

1 month ago
appointment, comfort, early, humor, i, late, leave, leaving, me, pajamas, party, say, social, someone
Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

1 month ago
around, bragging, change, direction, humor, irony, life, perspective, self-improvement
Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

4 months ago
court, fake, Fake sport, Funny quote, humor, Lorde, music, notice, pickleball, Pickleball Court, pushing, song, sport, tennis, Tennis Court, tired
I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

1 month ago
always, am, anxiety, crash, finance, humor, i, market, moment, moments, notice, relate, stock, stock market

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Going viral on Snapchat:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Just landed via Slack:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

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Activity Log ✨

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

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Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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