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"Dear brain, you're treating hunger and boredom like a 'choose your own adventure' book 📚, but my waistline is not amused! Please start reading the signs before my pants file for divorce. 🍔🛋️ #BrainVsBelly"

boredom, brain, diet, difference, fat, food, getting, humor, hunger, learn, self-awareness, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

1 month ago
chasing, confidence, dream, dreams, humor, i, know, lazy, longer, me, nap, relaxation, self-care, want, where
Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

1 month ago
connection, frustration, humor, internet, irony, joke, life, me, should, technology, unstable, Wi-Fi, wifi
The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

1 month ago
breed, cash, cow, humor, joke, pun, value
Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

1 month ago
advice, home, homes, humor, leave, Monday, morning, need, outside, people, today, warning
Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

1 month ago
age, aging, aging humor, always, coming, extended, humor, humor about aging, know, life, life perspective, Monday, old, old age, perspective, retirement, weekend
These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

1 month ago
accept, acceptance, comparison, cooky, days, family, fight, grandma, humor, i, just, protest, technology, website

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

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First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

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If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

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Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Trending via Twitch:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending via Slack:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Going viral on TikTok:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Live now on Messenger:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

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Activity Log ✨

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

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Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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