Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, just casually sacrificing sanity for likes and followers 📱💔 Who needs self-care when you have filters and hashtags, am I right? 😅 #Priorities"

deleting, distraction, focus, health, humor, irony, life, media, mental, mental health, modern, modern life, priorities, self-care, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Shared recently on Threads:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Trending via Messenger:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Just shared via Slack:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Spotted on Twitch:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Shared recently on X:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨